If Today Was Your Last Day

2 wake sessions, 2 funerals and 2 cremations
1st time for me at least goin through all these in 5 days
its never easy seeing your loved one passing on
one of my best friend's grandma's funeral was today and when they sang the song 'amazing grace'
it just brought back the memories from my dad's...
it was sorta the main song for the funeral back then
come to think of it, it has been almost 13 years since then
funny thing's the song 月亮代表我的心 just kept playing in my head earlier XD
i guess cause it was my mom's favourite song and she kept listening to it for some time after my dad was gone

i miss the times my dad took me to marine parade to fly kites (literally :P),
i miss the times he would get me to sing with him canto pop karaoke songs during the weekend,
i miss the times he would just teach me about the engine parts while we were waiting in the car,
and i sure as hell miss the times he played all the games on the sega 16-bit console with me
unfortunately, all this happened when i was just a small kid and he was gone when i was 7
you never know whacha missin till its gone
but i appreciate the lesson cindy gave me on fatherhood on monday :)
it was a really fruitful one and its nice knowing there's someone looking over you somewhere out there =D

treasure all your loved ones people...
appreciate them for the one and only special person they are
and give them all the love you can!!! =D

Each day's a gift and not a given right
Every second counts cause there's no second try

La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo

the late nights are really getting to me
i've been sleeping at 4 to 5 in the morning for the past 2 to 3 weeks
and why? you ask
josh always hit the jackpot when he guesses such stuff
yeah,i've been playing my ps3
well...more specifically metal gear solid 4: guns of the patriots
i've completed it a few times but i'm trying to get the octopus emblem which requires no alerts throughout the game, good grief *smack forehead*
ok,i apologize if you're not a gamer
this post is more for my gamer friends
i've been following it since the first one came out back in 98
its one of the games that left a very a deep impression on me, like the final fantasy series if you get what i'm talking about
partly cause of the instrumental song 'enclosure' and the ending song 'the best is yet to come' in mgs1
and apparently this is the last one :(
a lot of the old characters from mgs1,2 and 3 came back in the game
and finally the game creators answered all the "why"s when they left us puzzled at the end of each game when we were wondering what the heck was the plot about
anyway enough talk, here are some pictures from the game...

the main character of the game, snake..or rather solid snake and yes this is the actual graphics when you're playing XD
the wonders of HD and blu-ray *evil grin*

the bosses...
and surprisingly, these are females
victims traumatised by war in their homeland and used by others to become war machines themselves
from the left to right...laughing octopus, raging raven, crying wolf and finally screaming mantis floating above the rest at the top
notice they all have emotions before their animal names, its what drives them to fight
for example, laughing octopus always laughs..even when she is hurting from a wound 0.o

finally a few comparisons in the game with the older series to see how the graphics have improved XD
one of the prettiest characters in the game, meryl silverburgh

yours truly, meryl in mgs1 using ps1

and meryl in mgs4 using ps3

now u see the diff in graphics? 0.o
she looks very pretty if you observe her close up
but i still prefer girls with long hair XD
she still wields her favourite desert eagle wherever she goes, small girl with a big gun XD

and another female character in the game...
she's known as big mama ( i know, i was stunned when i first heard it XD) aka eva
actually she's from mgs3 which took place during the cold war period in the 1960s
very good looking huh?
unfortunately this was her in the 60s when she was still 20+
and oh by the way, mgs3 was using dvd format in ps2 so the disparity in graphics might not be as huge

and her in the present times when she's in her 40s or 50s
omg, so old still wear like that...yucks XD
her favorite phrase;
'i only get off my bike only when i fall dead...or when i fall in love' XD

finally the bad ass character throughout the game
its a long story how liquid (one bad guy) became ocelot (another bad guy) and i shant bore you with the details
liquid's the one in the front with solid snake in the background
this was mgs 1 using ps1 by the way
he actually died in mgs1 but like i said, its a long story how he became one with ocelot
if you notice, both liquid and snake look alike (actually all of them look alike in the ps1 graphics XD)
thats cause both are actually cloned from a guy named big boss which he did appear in mgs4 at the epilogue

ocelot in mgs1 using ps1
couldnt find the one in mgs2 where he looked about the same just slightly better graphics cause it was in ps2
like eva, this is him in his younger days in mgs3
the story is such that mgs1 was in the 1990s while mgs 3 was during the 1960s
directors of the game funny ar?

i think he looks super cool in this outfit
in his 50s and still lookin like a masterpiece
none of those saggy muscles and stuff
fyi, he did have abs and bulging biceps when he took off his shirt to fight XD

alright thats it for me...
anyway,
i've been thinking of using the lol langauge in msn again soon,
havent practiced it for a while now XD


do yew mizz mi?

Dance Your Heart Out

whoa its been a super long day...
i left the house at 9:30am and i just got back
i feel uber drained...so i'll keep this short


today the church groupies went to sentosa to have some fun playing games :)
the beautiful sand, the rushing waves and the bright sun
we played captain's ball and volley ball there at siloso beach
couldnt play volley ball for nuts so i only played captain's ball
...but it didnt turn out as i expected
my cg was PAWNED!!!! XD
6 to 1 with the only goal scoring only like in the last 2 mins of the game
boy, were we lucky hehe


after that josh, sarah and i headed down to christina's concert at the NLB
my oh my, almost 2 hours of dance performances of different genre
and i'm surprised i didnt fall asleep considering how tired i was...
that silly gal christina's performance was super nice :)
in fact, it was one of the best among the rest
you did well gal, keep up the good work!!!! :)
and she finally got carried by a guy in front of all of us XD
overall i must say it was interesting although some of the groups and the performance coordinators could use some improvement
i also got to meet amanda and siti for the first time!!
now these two gals are a funny bunch alright XD
with chris and felicia too
i must admit the way i met the two of them was a little...weird
for chris was...he saw me at the audience after their performance
he instantly recognized me and came over, 'you must be sammy,i'm chris'
i never even met him in mah life!!
i was still blur like a sotong wondering who was this guy until he said his name while we were shaking hands
then for felicia,
after christina intro her to me
her first words were 'ahh so you're sammy, i know a lot about you'
good Lord!!! like chris, i never met her in mah life as well
obviously christina must have did some introduction about me to both of em....
which i hope didnt include my bad points XD
they really are a nice buncha people and i think it 'd be nice to just sit down and get to know em one day
although it does seem a little impossible with all their busy schedules at school...


there was something that really touched me yesterday
there were things going on here and there and life has been crazy
after service, josh suddenly asked me 'are you ok?'
yes there were things goin on and well....lets just say i was a little down but i definitely didnt show it
in fact i tried to hide it a lot
but yeah what touched me was even beneath the smile on my face, and the all laughing
he could tell something was really wrong
its not easy to do that unless you really understand your friends well
which i admit i can only do that for a few people which i spent years...maybe even a decade with
it really showed how much attention he paid when it came to observing others...or me in this case
then came sitong who asked me the same thing...i guess maybe it was really starting to show
even elyn sms-ed me about the same thing when she was in expo and me in jurong west
damn, thats some woman's intuition she's got XD
i really thank you for all the concern you guys showered on me
and not to worry i'll talk to you guys if there's anything :)
most of all, i thank God for friends like you!!!

i'll still praise the God who gives and takes away

You Always Believed

i'm so sorry for not updating these past few days
well...partly cause there wasnt much to talk about
quite a number of 21st birthdays this month
plus with all the going out and buying of stuff, i'm flat out broke
apart from the supposedly weekly gymming sessions with josh...
which have become fortnightly XD
i stayed home nowadays either being a bookworm or a gamer
usually more of the latter =P
the book cindy lent me is super interesting
it has taught me a lot of new things...actually more of redefined my train of thoughts
i can do more of lending books like these from her in the future
hahahahaha the joy of reading and learning new things when you dont have to spend a single cent!!! XD

crap
it wasnt supposed to go this way
its not even a week and here i am struggling with it
i felt it wasnt fair to you if i kept going on with no progress
maybe i really wasnt suited for this in the first place
i'm so sorry i had to put such an abrupt end to it like this and i hope i didnt leave you with a poor impression
i do feel very bad about it
but i must thank you very much for the opportunity you gave me even though we were complete strangers :)


you held me through it all and you never let me fall :)

Just Feel Better

i went to the gym with josh again on friday
boy...like the picture,it wasnt as simple as it looked XD
i tried doing all those routine exercises i did before i went to taiwan but only managed to finish it a part of it
in fact, arms and chest areas hurt like hell now
and that josh was comical
he saw me having trouble doin my last few sets of crunches then he came over as i went up each time, he said..
'no char siew pao, no lo mai gai, no taiwan xiang chang, no ji pai'
it was tough enough doing it and worse when i tried to control laughing while doin XD


there were other things that looked simple...at least it was until recently
all it took was just one 'trigger' to mess up the whole...balance of it
i'm doing my best on this one and i'm not sure how long it will take
this part isnt meant for all the readers, just to those that i've shared with yesterday
pay no attention if you dont understand me here


anyway, cgm and service was really good
we were on the topic of building relationships
its really hard when you think about it, maintaining a good friendship with all your friends
sometimes they just dont have the time for you because of their other friends, school, work, yada yada
and likewise for ourselves as well
i dunno man...at times you try your best to find time with her/him but they just brush you away
well...in any case i just hope to be the best friend i can be to all my friends and be there for em when they need me :)


I'm tired of holding on to all things i oughta leave behind
its really getting old and...i think i need a little help this time...